Life.

‘Life. What is life? Countless words have been written and spoken about this topic, yet no entirely correct answer has been given. I’m just going to put my opinion in here and it’d be your decision to read it or not – I mean, these are the thoughts of a 20-year-old girl.

“What do you know about life? You think that clouds are trampolines and unicorns that shit rainbows have castles on them.” – That would probably be your very first reaction. But of course, it would be. People are used to jumping into conclusions before hearing out the person in front of them. Hell, most human beings will have made you a criminal just because you haven’t shaved your beard or will make you a whore, for having a tattoo by the time you have had the time to say “Hello”.

Now, when I’ve made you think about it, there are two case scenarios.

  1. You get mad at me for telling you how narrow minded you are and you move on to the next meaningless WordPress article.
  2. You actually think about it and you keep reading.

It really doesn’t matter what you chose, after all these are just a few words in a blog post, that I’m sure someone has already said.

It’s true that I’m not a 90-year-old man survival of WW2, but I’ve also seen people close walk out of my life. It might not have been from enemy bullets in the chest, but I’ve felt my soul being thorn apart from a traitor’s knife. In the war they give orders and you follow no matter the outcome – doesn’t matter if you have to terminate a child or an adult, because it’s kill or be killed. Well, we’re living in the 21st century and being in a peaceful country or not, everyone is having a battle for their souls. Going to the very top or aiming for the top, knowing you can’t reach it being yourself? That’s Shakespeare’s question in 21st century.

It’s true that no commander has given me orders, but I, as well as you too, obey life’s rules – be the predator or die. Seems pretty easy, doesn’t it? But when you realize that in order to be the predator you need to do sacrifice whatever it takes, things get complicated.

From the moment of your birth until you start your conscious life you know nothing else but good and awesome adventures. You see the buttons on mom’s jacket as sweets, the path from your bed to the kitchen as a journey and you rule that invisible kingdom of yours hidden in your closet. Then high school comes knocking on the front door and university on the back door and you realize that some things like honesty and love are rare. You start understanding that nothing is what it seems – what is this? A smile or a fake smile? You are confused, I mean, that’s not what the movies say it would be. Teachers treat you like a garbage, your classmates call you a “nerd” because you scored 9/10 and throw things at you to “teach the loser a lesson”. Reality turns into a nightmare and nightmares turn into reality. You graduate and you find a job, where everyone would give an eye for power. Year after year you work hard to earn that CEO position but then the whore that’s been sleeping with the boss gets it.

Then you turn the page. Scruples, faith and love soon become useless, according to your busy, trying to reach the top self. You have less and less time for the people that care about you and love you, just because.. well, they will always be there, I mean they have always been, right? You gotta make acquaintances in work and bribe the customers to ensure your place this time. You wake up and start playing a different role in front of different people so you get what you want and when you come home, broken, with no humanity and soul left inside of you, you yell at the few people who still haven’t left the shell that’s left of you, just because they asked “how did work go”. You yelled because you are ashamed of yourself, ashamed to say it out loud.

And this is how your life goes on, until you think you reached the top and you realize there is no one around you to tell you “I am proud of you, you did good.”. Just because you turned into someone else, so you could win. Look around you, it’s noisy and crowded but so empty at the same time, right? That’s because you burned the castle of love you had to the ground.Now there is no one on your side, you see the threat everywhere, because you pushed away your shield – the people, who had no power or money to give you, just love and support.

Great job, you achieved nothing so far.

Stop for a second, take a breath, pay attention to your loved ones, keep them close to your heart, be honest and good, because the spot under the lights is a lonely place, that everyone around you wants it.

Remember that you were one of these people, when you got to this place. Remember how you got there.

This is life. Hurry up and stop. Prioritize –  Fix your mistakes before it’s too late, because the road to the top might be slower and harder with honesty and hard work, but at least you won’t lose yourself on the way. When you have a gun pointed at you, doesn’t always mean you should kneel and ask for mercy, there are 146 other possibilities, but you need to get your brain working. Or at least that’s what Harvey Specter from “Suits” says. The choice is yours.

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