Drowing in my own tears. They are squeezing my neck like the Devil’s hand. Or worse.
They are full of memories. And the worst is that they were once the ones that kept my heart warm, pure, the ones that kept my heart beating. For you.
It still beats for you, though. Just find it. Tell it you need me. Tell it you miss me. Tell it you can’t live without me. And it will be warm again. Whole again.
No matter how many times you break it, when you say the magic words, with the proper eyes and tone, its whole again. Fondly, waiting for you to seek for it again. To feel your love again.
But until then, all I have left are just tears, a couple of toys you gave me, and the bracelets.


Anyone who had experienced love, would know that it hurts, sometimes more than it makes you happy. 

-Lulu we are going to be late. You need to hurry! – I cried in the end of the stairs. Lulu and her hair. Uh! 

-Coming in a minute, babe. Be patinet. I need to be pretty.

-But you always are.- I mumbled, and took the car keys. -Will wait for you in the car! – I said louder.

I was 19 and I had a couple of months to graduate, Lulu was in the other class. She had this awesome red curly hair, which always smelled like something between bananas and stawberries, and was so soft. 

-See I was that fast today, Jake. – she smiled with the most beautiful smile ever. 

-Sure, my ass. – I was playing mad but she gave me a sandwich and said:

– I even made breakfast.

Couldnt help it. Just kissed her.

The day at shcool passed boring, then we came home. We were supposed to cook fried chicken with salad. I made the salad and Lulu did the rest.

-Uh, you souldn’t slice it like that. It has to be wider. Uh, when we get married I will do that, for god’s sake.

I didn’t know what to say. So I stayed quiet.

When we started having dinner, something with her was wrong, but I waited for her to spit it out. Finally she did.

-So, babe, what was that girl from today? The one you were looking at so much? And talking to her like she was more than a God?

-Um, you?

-Don’t play stupid!- she yelled and throw her glass of wine to the wall – Tell me who she is and were you doing with her, or I swear I will rip her heart out!

-Lulu, calm down. There was no one. I don’t even remember talking to someone, what about looking at someone. – I didn’t know what she was talking about, I swear.

-I told you not to play stupid! – she started throwing things 

-Babe, please calm down! Let’s talk. Give me a chance..


-Lulu..-I stood up and went to her. Tried to hug her but I got a slap.

-Leave me alone!- tears were falling of her eyes, like falling stars. 

I tried to stop her but she ran away with the keys for the car. Something was telling me that it won’t end well, that I need to hurry, or it would be too late. Well, it already was. 

I got the BMV, drove as fast as I could, I saw Lulu’s car, stopped at the left side of the bridge. She was sitting on the fance with a gun in her hands. I was terrified.

-Babe, put it down. Let’s fix this. Please. I beg you. You still love me, right? Put it down, Lulu. 

-We always fix things, and in the end nothing is fixed. Once broken you cannot mend it. It stays broken. Why did you do this to me, Jake? Why? I loved you. I wanted to marry you, and you didn’t say anything. Why did you choose her instead of me? – She was crying like a little child. She just wasn’t herself. 

-I did not do anything. I love only you. My eyes see only you. Please put the gun down. Please, Lulu, I love you. – a tear fell. As fast as the bullet stroke her.-NO!

I ran and cought her lifeless body.

-No…. No.. It.. It can’t be real. Why.. Lulu.. please.. Marry me.. Please.. Say yes.. 

I couldn’t stop the tears, nor the screams. 

-Screams and tears won’t bring her back, boy. – The shadow on the other end of the bridge, laughed.


Sometimes no matter how hard we try, happiness slips through our fingers and it won’t come back. The irony is that we find happiness where it’s obviously not needed. Clearly we suffer quetly, but then we are accused of not caring.

The little candle.

-Mommy, I’m cold. I’m really cold. – Said the little child with curly black hair.

-I know, sweetie. Just go take another blanket and try to sleep a bit.-The mother was almost crying and just wishing for a miracle to warm up her boy.

-But that was the last one. I can’t, mommy. I’m really cold.

She couldn’t say anything, because tears were about to fall. So she kissed his little forehead and gave Mark her blanket.

As the kid fell asleep she reached her pocket. Lin’s hands were shaking so much and were so cold that she nearly dropped the contain. She started praying and in a minute in her hands there was a little candle. There was a sign saying ‘Use when nothing can help. But be careful. Everything has a price.’

She looked at her child then back at the candle and with tears on her cheeks, she lit the candle and the room almost immediately got warm and cosy, but the little wax ‘friend’ got smaller.

Lin lied next to Mark and closed her eyes.

The next day wasn’t better, it was even worse. In the morning she send her child to school. Then went to work in the factory near by. When they were both back she cooked a dinner. They ate quietly. 

-Mark who did this to you? – Lin had noticed the buises on his left wrist.

-No one, mom. Drop it. 


-It was a classmate of mine. He was just being a jerk. Forget it. Okay? I’m fine.-he started yelling and stood up from the table then went to bed.-Why it has to be so cold. I just want a little warmth. Is that so much to ask for? 

When she heard what Mark said, her heart broke. She waited till her boy fell asleep and did everything again. But the candle got even smaller. When the room got warmer the kid slacked off.

The other day was ever worse. The temperatures were killing. The snow was more than 3 meters high. They stayed home the whole day. It was so cold. And because Lin couldn’t make it to work, there was nothing in the fridge. She was watching the boy suffer the whole night. Before Mark fell asleep, Lin could hear him sobbling. The mother spent half of the night staring at her boy, crying, feeling like she was the worst person, because she couldn’t even make her child happy. 

-Sorry, Mark. I love you.-the words echoed in the empty room. 

She lit the candle for the last time. The last Lin saw was her boy being warm and saying:

-Thanks, mommy, thanks for taking care of me.

Then she fell on the ground, lifeless, and the candle disappeared from her hands. The mother died for her son, died giving her soul for him, because everytime she had lit the candle, Lin had given a part from her soul and life. A part from her.

A simple lie.

The little plume coming out of her coffee cup. The warmth and the smell attracting her senses. 

-Leo, here, your breakfast. I promise you I will buy you something different than a chicken. – Tells the girl to her dog and pets it.- I really gotta go now, you know. Wish me luck and wake Jay up in a bit, okay buddy?

She drinks from the coffee and takes a cookie from the drawer. 

-Babe? Why are you up so early? – Jay walks towards her with his eyes nearly closed and kisses her. 

-Ah, I forgot to tell you that I had to go earier. I’m sorry. You go to sleep. I will call you in an hour? Okay?

He nods and leaves the girl with the curly red hair to get her keys and drink the rest of the coffee.

As she sits in the car she pulls out her phone and dials a number. 

-What’s the next task? – No trace of the good mood, the love and the kindness. Just her cold voice and her emotional devoided face.

-Kevin Tossel. Eliminate him. 

-I’m on it.