Going away.

Mars is good.
I should move there.
No traffic
no burnt milk in my coffee
no queues for the bakery.
I wouldn’t have to cut corners to rush for work,
because walls wouldn’t exist there, just air.
I wonder whether I could get rid of the mental blocks as well.
There would be no one to watch me,
so I wouldn’t need all these expensive clothes.
I could write my own books with a stick in the sand
the next day they would be carried away by the wind
and I could start over
fix what needed fixing.
Just like my life.
There would be no clock to pull me away from my dreams
so mornings would be as long as I need them to be.
I would make a home in different caves every now and then
for free.
If I tripped and fell
I could stay down for a while
and that would be okay.
Yes, maybe I should move.

Ocean and freedom.

I went to the same park we used to hang out.
Sat on the bench we used to make out.
Observed the same ocean we used to admire.
Because after all,
we both exist under the same sky
we both wish upon the same stars
we both breathe the same air.
It was enough for me that you existed under my sun.
You know, I wasn’t waiting for you to show up.
No.
I was waiting for my emotions.
To feel my heart in my throat,
hear the world quieting down,
feel the goosebumps on my skin,
lose track of time and space,
just like before.
And nothing happened.
I wanted
and waited.
All I felt was emptiness and freezing cold.
You
are
just
gone.
It would be silly to say that at this point I smiled.
But I really did.
Now, this IS freedom.

Dead but united.

Darkness all around us. Darkness uniting us. Darkness making us who we are.
What was there even before the beginning of time itself? It was this void, this darkness. It will never be gone, because it is everywhere. People cannot always see it, but it is there. You know it, you have sensed it. Yes, with the corner of your eyes, in a place in your heart, that you thought it had been cured, or in your room where the light of the lamp next to your bed is flickering and shadows are creeping in. Darkness doesn’t have a shape. It is nothingness, yet it is everywhere. No matter how strong the light is, there, at the end of the ray of light, a drop of darkness will be eating it, crushing it, becoming stronger.
Someday, there will only be darkness again and only those who have accepted this, will be able to survive.
There is no good or bad, when the only thing you care about is surviving. The only way you do it, is by uniting with the rest. No killing, no stealing, no crushed hearts and memories. Because all you have is darkness and all you know is surviving.